University/college is truly a life changing experience. The person who I was coming here versus the person I am leaving in just a few short months are drastically different. Obviously the purpose of going to school & getting an education is to learn, but I had no idea how much I was actually going to learn about myself. I find it so hard to believe that I am graduating in 2 months. I remember my very first day of frosh week and wondering what this journey was going to look like. Now, reflecting back on all of it, here is something that I wish I knew sooner in university.
Different friends bring you together for different reasons
This may seem obvious, but it is important to give it some thought. One of the main things I have learned while at school is that different people are in your life for different reasons. Of course there may be your absolute best friend/soul sister who aligns with almost every aspect of your life, but for the most part, we connect with certain people over certain things. You might have a few friends who are the absolute best time to go out with, and every time you party together it is so much fun. Though if you do something you regret and are feeling upset or hurt the next day, they might not be the ones you call for support- and that’s totally okay. On a deeper lever, it is really important to recognize who brings out what in you. In my first couple years at school, I was not even aware of how easily influenced I was in certain situations. I didn’t realize that I was actually trying really hard around the people who I spent the most time with. I wish I had someone grab me by the shoulders, shake me, and ask “are you putting your energy in the right places with the right people?” Because for a while, I wasn’t.
You may have your going out friends, your gym buddies, your study group; you can connect with different people over endless amounts of things. Something that I wish I did sooner was ask myself, who was I most myself around? When was I happiest, and doing the things that I loved? And when was I doing things just because other people were? Now that I have experimented a lot, I know myself so much better than I did in my first year. I know what things make me happy & I can now see that the people I connect with over these things turned out to be the people who matter most in my life.
It is totally normal & okay to have different friend groups that you do different things with. It’s probably actually really healthy. There is nothing wrong with knowing that some people serve in you different ways. My advice isn’t to try and merge all these friend groups together, and it certainly isn’t to just pick one group to do everything with. My advice is to know where to focus your energy amongst these people. Figure out what you want and spend more time and energy with the friends who align with that.
Who we surround ourselves with is one of the biggest decisions we make for ourselves, and sometimes we make that decision with very little thought. Your four years at university are SO special and play a huge role in shaping who you are, so it is paramount that you take the time to reflect on who you want to be on this journey with, and who you owe it to yourself to walk away from.
Peacefully meg 